Milano, 10.th May 2012
My brightest diamond,
I still remember the first time we talked. I wished for more time, as you were young and I already knew the price to pay if we met. You were beautiful and touching, the depth I would fall into was obvious.
A year later, you had your first heartbreak and there I would come in. Meet you for the first time in the Palais Royal. Have a little chat about everything. Cross Paris by foot. Buy you the LP you seemed to like so much and kiss your soft lips for the very first time.
Our story started there. Knowing each other, wanting each other. Hiding in front of each other...You were somehow puzzled, I asked for more and I wouldn't take it... I put an end to it. I wanted a change. I wanted to leave the country. But our bodies found their way back to each other as our minds couldn't separate. Than the first real break-up. Months of missing you. Months of thinking I could get over you.
Than the summer. You grew so much when we met again. Ended high school. Were mature about your relationships. I would even push you to be more true to some of your friends. That was asking too much again. The bore came along. We grew cold in a short while. But when we were about to separate, the storm came by and our love was born.
That one day between the Tuileres and the Louvre love fell on us the same way the heavy rain would bath our clothes. What followed was amazing. You became everything. A song. A grape of vine. A picture on the wall. A writing on my body. A ride on a bike in Paris. A movie. A noisy evening with friends. An apricot.
Trouble came along. Some for me, some for you. Somehow the insecurity would make us hold stronger together. When the sun started shining again, the grip would choke us. You left. I had my first heartbreak. I forgot all my plans. I forgot the reasons to smile and to breathe. I couldn't move on without you. I couldn't open or close my eyes without seeing you. I couldn't walk without missing you.
We met again. We said the words I love you. We meant them. We felt them. Unfortunately all the changes made us fragile. You needed more space, I needed more reasons to stay. Fights were on a daily schedule, between kisses, smiles and hugs. All trough this we still felt the same and hold on together. Only, with time, we stopped sharing. We stopped even talking. Than we stopped seeing each other.
Paris became all you. Bastille in the rain. Palais Royal and it's garden. A walk in the Louvre. A lunch in Café Marly. Movies and bookstores of Saint-Germain-des-Près. Parties at la Concorde. Evenings at the Abesses. Walks around Sacré Coeur. Nights at Porte de Clignancourt. My bed had the shape of your body. I drew us on my wall...But without you by my side it was all empty.
I asked you to come over just before I left. You came. It felt like if we never stopped seeing each other. You're my best friend.
Every time we're together I wish we wouldn't have to fall apart. Every time you leave me alone in my bed I wish you would come again, just one last time. I would inhale your perfume. My skin would caress your soft skin. Our bodies would match again. I would watch you. Get closer to you. Look into your eyes. Taste your lips, one last time. Let your hands hold me. I would listen to your heart beat and fall asleep.
I swear, one last time with you is what I desire every time you leave.
