Marilyn

Paris, December 2010

I am blonde. Tonight, I am 'the blonde'. Tight mini-dress. Sky-scraping skinny heels. My best friend has been ordering bottles of Champagne for me for the past four hours. I feel no more pain in my feet, I don't feel the cold wind itching the skin of my bare legs. I vapidly laugh without any reason. Which actually makes me laugh even more.

My friend grades the room. Too old for me, too skinny and straight for him. An old sleazy one is heading our way. He's trying to offer me a drink. I'm speechless. I laugh again. Should I feel insulted or flattered? I'm happy somebody is showing interest in me. But, frankly, I am offended at the idea of being mistaken for a nurse from a retirement house. I grab the arm of the first passer by. Tall, dark, clean shaved, made to measure suit. He checks out my cleavage and my hips molded in those few bands of elastic lurex. He smirks and says:

"Darling, does the gentleman wish to join us?"
"I have no idea, but, he's kinda cute, isn't he?" I say lasciviously.
"Right at the moment, we were going for a tour in my Porsche! Maybe next time, sport..."

I smile, not getting anything out of what is happening. The elderly man still wants to mix up with us but the Tall man grabs a magnum of Champagne in one hand and my waist in the other. I am completely under his control.

His Carrera is waiting for us in front of the club. I forgot my friend inside. I forgot the simple existence of anything else right now. I'm sitting in a sports car with a bottle of Veuve Cliquot in my lap and a manly hand on my knee. I forgot my fur coat. I forgot my pouch.

He looks at me from the corner of his eye with satisfaction as he turns on the powerful engine. I wet the dress directly as I must wear it without any underwear. The spike heels push into the soft carpet as he suddenly accelerates. I hate this virile need to show his power by driving 60mph on a 10 meter segment in a jammed Parisian traffic.

I pop the cork out the window and I just drink and laugh. He puts on some romantic music.

His apartment is huge and overviews the Eiffel Tower. He comes to me impatiently.

Just this morning I was crying in my bed looking at my grayish blond hair and my skinny body after three months of unplanned fasting. My best friend came over to pick me up, he turned my hair platinum blonde, put me into a golden Herve Leger by Max Azria dress, stuck a pair of Sergio Rossi heels on my feet, covered my back with a Pucci fur and slipped a Margiela pouch in my hand. I could have never been able to afford those clothes with my editor's assistant job. Fortunately my friend is a press agent at a big agency.There are some perks to his job.

I'm standing naked even before he starts to kiss me. I can smell his entire day coming up from his sweat. The skin on his body is much less attractive than his face. He takes his own clothes off. I mechanically caress his back as he attempts to passionately embrace me. I'm asking myself what am I doing here, what is it going to end up like.

He's clumsy and only pretends to be patient. I follow him to his bed. He strokes my skin a bit, kisses me... My body gives in to him without asking me for a consent. My body wants him. He puts on a condom and puts me over the top of it. He lasts five minutes, breaks included. He has a nice Bang&Olufsen alarm clock. He throbs his jaw forward and rolls his eyes over as he cums. I feel like rolling to the side in case he feels like hitting me. He falls down to his elbows. Smiling with self satisfaction. He kisses me with his wet mouth on my front, I close down like a shell. My excitation is all gone.

Once he falls asleep I put on my dress, take his phone to call my friend. He comes to pick me up by cab with the fur and the pouch.

Tomorrow, as I will wake up, I will cry. Because in three moths of self deprivation I didn't loose anything, I didn't miss anything. My dreams vanished in one night, all my hopes are shattered. I have no others. Prince Charming is just a premature egoistical Shrek ogre..and I just got my period..on the seat of the cab, as I didn't realize it was coming. I just destroyed a dress worth over 2000 Euros.